Pee. Ball Sack.

So. Step one of Monday...


Let's go to recess. We do this and one of my darling students (who, mind you, is never an issue about restrooms) asks me if she can go to the bathroom. Well, we don't go to the bathroom at recess. We go after lunch (before music...which is immediately before recess). End of story. So I say...wait until we go inside.

Terrible. Idea.

Cue small child saying, "Mrs. Havens...someone needs you and the nurse..." Uhhhh crap. So my lovely incontinent child is sitting up on the faux rock wall and I can see liquid running down all of its ripples...great.

So, I make her get up and get another teacher to walk her to the nurse. We also thought it might be a good idea (after hours of training on handling bodily fluids) to let the office/custodians know that someone peed on the playground and it should be cleaned. It has literally run down the rock wall...like a slinky of liquid. Disgusting.

CUE CHILDREN STILL RUNNING UP AND DOWN THE ROCKS!!!!!

So, I stood at recess for 25 minutes yelling, "STAY OFF THE ROCK WALL!?!?!?!?!?!" and at some points literally pulling children down to keep them from putting their hands in urine. Disgusting. They feel liquid on their hands and wipe it on their jeans. Ew. Seriously. Ew. So, my friend comes out and says, "Brace yourself. The office says we don't have a hose so leave it because it's supposed to rain." My mind literally goes *BOOM* and explodes. My eyes must've looked blank and/or angry because she said, "Like I said, stay calm." So we proceed to take the walkie-talkie from another teacher and radio the custodian on our own because apparently...APPARENTLY the office doesn't have to do the training for bodily fluids.

Let's backtrack to this morning...
Today was the day we start reading groups. Awesome. Ish. I mean, it was fine and my kids were good and they did their work and did well reading, etc. However, during reading groups we get to do some little alphabet sound sorts...play little games...read a little book. Literally, a *little* book. They are maybe 8 pages with one sentence on each page (for the easier reading groups). So, I take out the lesson plan and see that today's New Book is "Play Ball"...which is a lame book that we get from our reading textbook series...but to these kids...it's like gold because they can read it. And I love promoting success. :)

So, we're taking a "picture walk", which basically means looking at *just* pictures (no words) and trying to predict what will happen. So...short story long...some animals (rabbit and bird) are waiting in the park for their friend (Zack the bear). [This week's "sound" is -ck so these words are *super* prevalent.] So Zack is carrying this GIANT bag of baseball equipment. They say that Zack is bringing his sack if you're reading the text which we're NOT because it's a picture walk. So...I flip through the pages and have them predict what they'll do at the end (obviously play baseball). And we get to the page after Zack arrives on the scene and I say...

"What do you think Zack has in his BALL SACK?!"

At which point I look around to make sure none of my kids realize this is really disturbing/hilarious...and giggle for a few minutes while they think I've lost my mind.

I love my job.