Wednesday, April 21, 2010

On to 20!

I'm on my way to 20 books! I've read books 14 and 15 FINALLY. For those books I chose a new author, Kristin Hannah, and the books True Colors and Firefly Lane.

14. Firefly Lane- I loved this book. Loved it. L-O-V-E kind of love. At first, I wasn't so sure. I feel like it maybe started a little slow but, come to find out, you needed all that build-up. The book was largely about the shared history between two best friends and how it brought them to adulthood. It was kinda bros-before-hoes...but with girls. However, it was A MILLION times better than that too. TullyandKate (they're referred to as such in the book) were best friends FOREVER...I'm talking age 14-grown up life. They have an amazing story, a familiar friendship to many many girls, and a super-strong love for each other. Some crazy good (and bad) stuff happens during the book and toward the, not toward the end...the last 100+ pages I literally read in tears. I'm not talking I'm-Jessica-and-I-tear-up-because-I-hate-being-emotional tears. I'm talking HUGE SOBBING tears. I literally needed my hand held to finish the book because I couldn't do it. I stopped two pages from the end to cry into my arm and wipe the snot off my face...and take deep breaths...before I could finish it. Ridiculous? Yeah. But that shows you how *awesome* it was. :)

15. True Colors- This was a super fast read for me. I finished Firefly Lane Saturday night and had finished True Colors by Tuesday. It's about 3 sisters and the small town where they grow up. It actually took unexpected turns for me. Some things I predicted, but life is like that. If it was all unpredictable and crazy then it wouldn't be realistic. She had a teenage boy in this story that was the son of one of the sisters and I thought his character/her writing from his perspective was awesome and spot. on. I really enjoyed this book and, while I didn't get emotional, felt like it was a beautiful story with some *super* realistic writing. It's also beautifully picturesque. Makes me want to visit the West Coast.

Now I'm finally finishing those two John Grisham books. Hopefully both done by Sunday.

So now onto real life. I have 40 days left with my kids. Whether we do cool activities or just chill, I'm determined to make those the best days ever for them. I want them to leave the school year knowing that they have me in their corner if they ever need a thing. I want them to know I believe they can succeed in 2nd grade...or 1st grade again. Success isn't measured by Ss and Ps and Us. Success is measured by the person that you are and that you will be. My kids will be AMAZING people. A lot of them have really great parents who care about them and I hope they know that, while we are a *very* transient district, I will be there and they can contact me forever & ever. I could literally write something amazing about each one of them...but I won't. Yet.

In other real-life situations...I'm at a super weird place and it's super weird for me. Duh. Seriously though, I'm in a place where I'm really good for moving on. Not only am I ready, but pieces are falling into place, and things are moving forward. The worst part? Fear. Fear has taken a hold on me and it is not letting me go. I have things I want to share. I have things I want to tell people. Unfortunately, the last 2 yrs have made me super self-conscious and concerned about other people's thoughts/opinions. I don't want to broadcast decisions when I know people are going to be negative. Funny, I'm super negative. But still.
So anyway, God and I are bargaining. That never works. I'll lose. But I'm really happy and I'm really grateful for it. I'll be even happier when I feel like I can shout happiness from the rooftops and be unconcerned about people second-guessing my decisions. I've spent a very long time doing second-guessing...frankly, it's too tiring. I get it. I get what I'm doing and where I'm going and what it looks like, at least for a little while.

And it's good. It's *so*
*so* good. So I hope people will be ready for me...with support and love...when I'm ready. The end. :)

p.s. thanks Amazon for the pictures. Sorry if you thought you could actually "look inside". I'd be such a baller if I could figure out how to do that.

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